I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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