I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
