did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
