It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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