i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
