Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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