I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
