My underwear smells like fireworks.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
