im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
