If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
