I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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