Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
