well I can't set my house on fire every night
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize