went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This is my gift to your gina
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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