What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
