you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
