What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize