he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
