please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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