Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He felt like a one man threesome
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Blood and glitter go together right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
