Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
