so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Terrible idea I love it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
