I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize