what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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