You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
