yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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