CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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