Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize