Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
