they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
