Duck Duck Cougar?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
