he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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