he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
