I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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