It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
