How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
