just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
