remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize