I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
