It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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