the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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