my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Im part way to drunk.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
These tits shall not be calmed
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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