If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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