Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
