so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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