We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
