Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize