You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
