she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
