I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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