Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
