i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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