Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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