it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize