There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
