marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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