Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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