Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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