I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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