I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
