She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize