gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize