Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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