I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
