Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
