fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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